Geoff Plitt delivers the news with a twist.
Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez broke off their engagement and said they’re splitting up. So the lesson is, don’t be fooled by the jocks that she got, she’s still-she’s still Jenny with no rock. Oh, I’m getting an update: A-Rod says they’re still a couple and are “working through some stuff”. Oh I’m getting one more update: Ben Affleck has deleted the text he was about to send that said “U up?”
Quick QAnon update. Their latest ridiculous conspiracy theory is that Oprah’s interview with Meghan Markle was entirely CGI, because they think Oprah is in jail for child trafficking, another disproven fairy tale. I think CGI-Oprah is the dumbest theory I’ve ever heard, although it does explain this promo for her next interview.
In space news, a group of scientists says we should build an “ark” on the moon to store 6.7 million human sperm specimens. When Buzz Aldrin heard that, he said “(WINK) Mission Accomplished”.
Big news from the mouse. Disney says its streaming service Disney+ has surpassed 100 million global subscribers, getting to half of Netflix’s numbers in just 16 months. I have to admire what they’re doing– success like that takes real vision.
Did you guys catch this? Paul Bettany says he wore a fake butt for WandaVision. I am shocked. How dare they put a fake butt in a fake-sitcom that exists in a fictional cinematic universe based on comic books I haven’t read but whose summaries I perused on Wikipedia! Oh, I’m getting an update… he didn’t choose the fake but, it was… Agatha all along!
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